What a Post-Lunch Chat Taught Me About Our “Adult” Resolutions
I recently sat down for lunch with my two beautiful, Egyptian 19-year-old nieces; who are now sophmores at Rutgers University. Between the quick bites and the high-energy chatter, I expected to feel like an outsider looking in on a different world. Instead, I found a mirror.
As we navigate the first weeks of the new year, many of us are obsessed with “optimization” and “new beginnings.” Listening to these young adults, I realized that while our stages of life are different, our struggles are remarkably universal.
The 19-Year-Old Mirror
1. The Weight of the Test
The conversation quickly turned to test anxiety. For them, it’s a looming midterm or a finals week that feels like a life-or-death sentence; that throws one into a complete tizzy. For those of us further along in adulthood, the “test” has just changed shape. It’s the quarterly review, the high-stakes presentation, or the silent pressure of wondering if we are “passing” at parenting, teaching or career growth. The physical toll of anxiety doesn’t care how old you are; the heart still races the same.
2. The Fuel and the Friction
Watching their diet and food choices was another revelation. At 19, food is often about convenience, social connection, or fuel for a late-night study session. As adults, we often view food through the lens of restriction or “getting back on track” after the holidays.
In both cases, we are all just trying to figure out how to nourish ourselves in a way that sustains our energy without becoming another source of stress. Whether it’s a dorm-room snack or a meal-prepped kale salad, the struggle to make “good” choices is a lifelong dialogue.
3. The Tug-of-War: Priorities and Time
Perhaps the most striking theme was time management. To a 19-year-old, time is a chaotic resource—trying to balance a social life, classes, and a burgeoning identity. As we enter January, “adults” are doing the exact same thing.
We talk about:
- Establishing New Habits: The excitement of the “Day 1” version of ourselves.
- Maintenance: The realization that the third week of January is where the real work happens.
- Choices: Acknowledging that saying “yes” to a new fitness routine means saying “no” to an extra hour of sleep or work.
The Common Thread
Whether 19 or 59, the start of a year brings the same fundamental question: How do I manage the person I am with the person I want to be? We are all dealing with the anxiety of being tested, the discipline of our choices, and the messy process of maintaining the habits that matter.
The 19-year-olds reminded me that we never really “arrive” at a point where we have it all figured out—we just get better at navigating the lunch.
I expected to feel like a seasoned “mentor-auntie.” Instead, I found that adulthood is basically just the same set of problems, just with better insurance and more expensive coffee.
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